Eating Disorder Awareness Week is the last week in February (February 26-March 3, 2024) – welcome to the 37th year! It was started by NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) and this year’s theme is “Get In The Know.”
I have been an eating disorder treatment provider for over 25 years now, and I know that most people do not think about mental health, let alone eating disorders, until they have a personal connection. Even then, it does not guarantee someone will be sympathetic and compassionate – So many people have said damaging things to my clients (and to me!) over the years that I cannot count them all.
Eating disorder cases are on the rise – whether that is a result of the pandemic, social media, reality TV, video games, or just a sign of times does not really matter. What matters is that people learn more about it. I recently saw an article in EDReferral.com entitled “Five Reasons You Should Celebrate National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (Whether Or Not You Have An Eating Disorder by Mary Ann Cohen, LCSW in New York (emotionaleating.org). In it, she talks about how eating disorders affect all of us in some way or another.
Ms. Cohen makes a point to include almost everyone in her list of why we should care about eating disorder awareness: most women do not have an easy relationship with food or our bodies – there are all kinds of reasons for this, but one of the biggest is that women are judged primarily on their appearance, regardless of their other accomplishments. Men are under diagnosed when it comes to eating disorders, as are minorities of all kinds. We all grew up in an appearance focused culture and wear its effects in some way or another. If you consume social media in any way, the subtle (and not so subtle) reminders of how we all “should” be abound.
And since eating disorders are more accurately understood as a complex set of maladaptive coping skills designed to deal with various experiences we have in our lives, we all need to be aware of when and how those are most likely to develop so we can learn and teach adaptive coping skills instead.
There are several sets of skills that come to mind – but I will focus on two.
Critical Thinking
My librarian mother would say this is the most important skill you can teach, and probably that it was what she spent most of her 44 years in the school system trying to encourage in students, teachers, and administrators alike. To her, critical thinking means validating the information and vetting the source of your information.
To me, as a therapist and especially in the realm of eating disorders and trauma, this means evaluating the information you are given and not just accepting what is true from others. I do not care if they are your parents, teachers, clergy, friends, social media, movie, TV, video games, or whatever – you should ask questions and evaluate the information. If your caregivers are not encouraging you to ask questions, they are not doing you any favors.
How to learn to think Critically
We all need to evaluate the source of the information and the accuracy, of course – preferably, from multiple points of view and engage in appropriate discussion. But also, and more problematically, if the information we are given is an opinion (and all opinions are judgments of some kind or another) that is accepted as true. For instance, the prevailing beauty ideals, health and wellness ideas, gender roles, sexuality, racial identity, and other sources of privilege or lack thereof. Do we as individuals agree with these opinions? Why or why not? Do we have reasons or do we say things like “just because” or “that’s the way it is?” Does it align with our values? Do we share those opinions or judgments? How would we be comfortable expressing that to others? If you would not proclaim it for all to hear, if it makes you the slightest bit uncomfortable, it would be a good idea to examine why.
As the daughter of a librarian, I am going to put in a plug here for encouraging kids to read books – it has been proven to increase emotional intelligence and contribute to future earning potential through intangible skills like empathy, self-awareness, kindness, and creativity. All things that also improve mental health outcomes, increase life satisfaction, and protect against eating disorder development.
And if you are not sure, you can always take the Implicit Attitude Test to assess your various biases and see what judgments might be affecting your life in unexpected ways…
Self Soothing
I would argue that it is very difficult to engage in critical thinking, or even rational thinking, when you are activated, triggered, stressed, or emotional (F.I.N.E). I have been saying for years that the adults I work with do not seem to have been taught self soothing skills needed to manage the stressors of daily life. People act like the conscious use of a coping skill is somehow weak or wrong, and that people should not need to be taught to manage their emotions or stress. Why? That makes no sense. We all need to learn how to handle things, we are not born knowing how to manage life, let alone being a productive and healthy member of society.
You cannot avoid negative experiences in life. We all have things we struggle with and need to manage. We all have emotions, and that is not at all a bad thing! We need emotions and intuition and instinct to help us navigate the world. The skills of self soothing are meant to help us smooth over those rough spots so that we aren’t just reacting to things that happen, but we are making decisions about how to respond.
Everyone says they have tried breathing, mindfulness, grounding, meditation, visualization, journaling, venting, using your senses or some other soothing skill – and they don’t always work.
That is because these skills need to be practiced to work. But if you do them, they do work.
How to Self Soothe
How do you know if you are using self soothing techniques appropriately? Well, you are not stressed ALL THE TIME. If you are using self soothing, then you know how it works best for you. What music or TV or smell or photo calms your soul? Do you have a bedtime routine? Do you sleep OK? Engage in appropriate self care? Have people and things around you that are positive?
You know how we are supposed to think before we speak and count to ten and whatnot? How often do you do that before you react? Before your initial, emotional assessment becomes the information that you engage with and react to?
How often do you consciously process emotions? Do affirmations with yourself? Process difficult experiences with others?
These skills need to be modeled by adults in order for kids to learn to use them – kids have to see you use them.
There are a lot of other kinds of coping skills (like emotional regulation and assertiveness) that are useful and integral to making us productive and healthy. These two sets of skills (critical thinking and self soothing) are a place to start – and the place that I believe makes the biggest difference in helping become resilient in general. Resilience is a big factor in why people respond so differently to experiences. If we were all taught to use critical thinking and self soothing in our daily lives, consistently, it would decrease the stressors that most often lead to eating disorder development.
Critical thinking and self soothing skills also help with general mental health and well being – these are not just about eating disorders. All mental health concerns are helped by these skills – and we all have mental health!