Halloween: Empowerment or Performance?

Learn how to stay visible, grounded, and body-neutral during Halloween without disappearing into diet culture or shame.

The Scariest Thing About Halloween? The Way Women Disappear into Costumes

October is the season of masks, wigs, and pretending to be something else. Which is fine—until you realize most women are already experts at that.

Halloween just makes it literal.

Somehow, every costume aisle turns into a sociology lesson no one asked for. You start with “doctor,” “cop,” or “cat,” and end up with “sexy doctor,” “sexy cop,” or “leopard-print regret.” The same world that tells women to take up less space year-round suddenly invites them to “be whoever you want,” as long as whoever that is fits in a size small fishnet.

The problem isn’t wanting to look good. It’s that women are taught that “good” equals “visible, but not too visible.” Sexy enough to be praised. Modest enough to be safe. Hot enough for attention. Thin enough to disappear.

Costumes don’t create the problem. They just show it with better lighting.

The Disappearing Act

When women talk about feeling invisible, they’re not being dramatic.
Research backs it up: a 2023 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that body surveillance—the act of constantly monitoring one’s body appearance—remains a core driver of anxiety and depression among women. Add in a culture that sells “confidence” as a costume you can buy, and you get a perfect storm of objectification disguised as empowerment.

Most women don’t start the holiday trying to perform. But from a young age, we’re taught that visibility is conditional.
Be confident, but not too confident.
Be pretty, but not too noticeable.
Be approachable, but never threatening.

Costume marketing proves it. Walk through any store and count how many men’s costumes are “professional,” “scary,” or “funny,” versus how many women’s costumes look like a lost audition for a lingerie catalog. The issue isn’t creativity—it’s containment. Women’s identities are reduced to performance. Halloween just gives it props and heels. A night meant for creativity becomes another test of how well you can perform desirability without losing safety.

Objectification theory calls this self-objectification: when people internalize the outside gaze and monitor themselves through it. It’s not vanity—it’s vigilance. A survival strategy in a culture that measures women by visual worth.

And the cost is high. Chronic body monitoring increases anxiety, shame, and disconnection from hunger, pleasure, and intuition. Which means every time you adjust your costume or your posture to be “flattering,” your nervous system is doing invisible labor to keep you acceptable.

“Empowerment” or Exploitation?

Here’s the cognitive trap: when you call something empowering, it becomes immune to criticism.
“Sexy nurse” isn’t a symbol of liberation—it’s an example of how easily empowerment gets rebranded to sell the same old objectification in a sparkly wrapper.

Sociologist Rosalind Gill calls this postfeminist sensibility: the illusion of choice within systems that only allow certain choices to exist. You can wear whatever you want—as long as it’s within the boundaries of desirability that men and media define.

If you’re thinking, “But what if someone feels empowered dressing that way?” Good. Choice matters. But empowerment without safety, agency, or context isn’t liberation—it’s performance under pressure.

Halloween is supposed to be pretend. But for many women, disappearing behind a mask—or a push-up corset—isn’t new. It’s rehearsal.

When Empowerment Becomes Performance

Costume culture sells “confidence” as a costume itself. “Be bold! Be sexy! Be whoever you want!” But the options are pre-filtered through what’s marketable. You can “be whoever you want” as long as she’s thin, photogenic, and in heels.

Therapeutically, that matters because shame thrives in performance.

Shame says: You are only worthy when you meet the standard.
Resilience says: You’re allowed to exist without performing.

When clients talk about hating their reflection after Halloween parties, they’re not talking about costumes. They’re describing the crash after contorting themselves into someone else’s comfort zone.

Body Image Isn’t a Costume

Eating disorders spike during transitional and high-stress seasons. Fall is one of them. New routines, social comparisons, colder weather, more body coverage, less sunlight—all fertile ground for body image distortion.

Eating disorder recovery often means rebuilding your relationship with visibility. Not “body love”—that’s too advanced for most people in pain—but body neutrality. You don’t need to adore your reflection to deserve peace. You don’t need to feel confident to be respected.

Body neutrality asks: Can I live in this body without apology?

Halloween turns that internal tension into a costume contest. For many clients, the holiday triggers old narratives:

“I can’t wear that; I don’t have the body for it.”
“If I eat the candy, I’ll have to make up for it tomorrow.” or “If I eat candy, I’ll lose control.”

“If I wear something I like, people will judge me.”
“If I don’t look perfect, I’ve failed.”

But no one wins the body competition. The rules keep changing, and the prize is imaginary. Cognitive reframing helps clients see that none of these thoughts are facts—they’re old conditioning. They’re the leftover scripts of a culture that treats control as safety.

The Trauma Behind the Mirror

For trauma survivors, body visibility can trigger more than self-consciousness—it can awaken stored memories of exposure, threat, or shame.

When you’ve been treated as an object, being seen feels dangerous. The nervous system learns to equate invisibility with safety. So you shrink, monitor, perform, disappear. Healing asks you to reverse that conditioning—to experience being seen without being harmed.

That process is slow. It’s embodied work, not intellectual. It involves grounding, boundary repair, and compassion practice, not self-critique.

As one client put it: “I thought I hated my body. Turns out, I hated feeling unsafe in it.”

The Real Mask

The real mask isn’t makeup or polyester. It’s compliance.
It’s the voice in your head that says you should be grateful for attention, even when it feels like scrutiny.
It’s pretending you’re fine with comments about your body because you don’t want to be “the sensitive one.”
It’s the chronic self-editing that makes invisibility look like confidence.

That mask is heavier than any costume you’ll wear this month.

Reclaiming Authentic Visibility

Visibility doesn’t mean exposure. It means alignment. It’s showing up in a body you inhabit, not one you curate. It’s saying no to a costume that feels like mockery, even if it’s “fun.” Let’s rewrite the script:

Visibility isn’t the same as exposure.
Authenticity isn’t a costume.
Confidence isn’t how little fabric you can wear without flinching.

True empowerment isn’t choosing the most revealing outfit. It’s knowing your body belongs to you, no explanation required.

Real visibility means:

Showing up in a body you respect, not one you’ve punished.
Being seen for your presence, not your performance.
Wearing what you want because it feels like you, not because it passes someone else’s vibe check.

The bravest costume is the one where you don’t disappear inside it.

If You Struggle With This

You’re not the only one. If your body feels like a battlefield of comparison and commentary, you deserve support that doesn’t gaslight you into “body positivity” you don’t feel. Costumes and Halloween can stir up memories, shame, and food anxiety. If this season feels heavier than playful, maybe it’s time to reach out for help.

Therapy helps untangle these patterns by addressing how objectification, perfectionism, and trauma intersect. We work toward body neutrality, safety, and self-trust—not performance.

Anti-diet (rejects weight as a health metric)
Trauma-informed (understands that shame and safety are inseparable)
Culturally competent (gets how identity, gender, and social pressure intersect)
Aligned with body neutrality (focuses on what your body does, not how it looks)

You don’t have to love your body to stop hating it. Sometimes neutrality is the first step toward peace.

Trusted Resources

Quotes

“Women have been trained to hate their own bodies since birth. Loving yours is an act of rebellion.” – Glennon Doyle

“You are not decoration. You are declaration.” – Unknown

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone else. It’s not comparing yourself at all.” – Unknown

“The body is not an apology.” – Sonya Renee Taylor

“Empowerment without choice is still control in costume.” – Unknown

“Loving your body in a culture that profits from your self-hate is an act of political warfare.” – Audre Lorde

“You are not decoration. You are declaration.” – Unknown

“When you silence yourself to stay safe, the shame wins twice.” – Unknown

Affirmations

My visibility is not a risk. It’s a right.
I am not decoration for someone else’s story.
I can exist without performing.
My body deserves safety, not scrutiny.
I am learning to be seen without disappearing.
I don’t need to disappear to feel safe.
My worth doesn’t shrink or expand with my body.
Attention is not validation.
I am allowed to take up space in every season.
My visibility is not a costume.